Choices

I think in the U.S., we are given way more choices or the appearance of choices than we should have. For example, there are two different toothpaste brands right next to each other. They are packaged differently but they have the same exact ingredients. There's not much of a choice because, in essence, you are buying the same thing but the appearance makes it seem like you made a choice. Well, I've found myself with choices this week. After trying my best to choose the right types of food, I went in line and looked at the different "choices" before I checked out. I saw the individual choice of chocolate candy, non-chocolate candy, gum and I realized that it wasn't much of a choice. They were all products with similar ingredients and little nutritional value. So either I choose a product before I checkout or I don't. As I stared at the deliciousness that my pallet would get from that piece of candy, I realized that I just don't want that in my body.

This fight is real. It's the small victory for me to decide that I don't want something at that moment even though it might give me temporary satisfaction. This struggle is something I have to consciously think of until it become natural for me to say that I don't crave it, I don't want it and I just refuse to have it. Regardless, I find comfort in knowing that there are those who have fought this fight and succeeded. I'm not alone in my journey. My journey will be long and won't be finished anytime soon, but for now, I'm celebrating the small victories.

Again

I'm at it again. I've fallen off the wagon. First it started with one small thing, then a couple of small things, and here I am 6 months later and a little heavier. Not just me this time, both my husband and I have gained a little bit of weight. On a brighter note, my kids are fit. They are really fit and I monitor their diets more closely than I do.

Maybe it's because it's me. I'm beginning to realize the value I put on myself is not as highly as I put for those around me and that's a problem. I am valuable. My life is valuable. The hopes and dreams to do more physical things are valuable. The battle I have with my mind to think it's not is absolutely ridiculous. There aren't any good excuses to not be healthy. I am worth it. So again, I type this as a person who has fallen, but I'm not staying down. I'm telling myself that I am valuable enough to work and struggle at getting fit.