Feeling FAT

I've fallen off the eating-right wagon awhile back ago. It must of have been several months ago that I stopped taking a careful eye at what I put in my body. I can describe a plethora of incidents that may have led to it -maybe my uncle's funeral, maybe working a lot, maybe the obnoxious international student who lived with us, maybe...just maybe, it's ONLY me.

Anyway, I read this article the other day and I started thinking about what exactly I missed out on because of me not wanting to show my body. With summer here, it's more apparent of how much I don't want to show or do because of how I look. It all comes down to insecurities. I don't have the body I used to have and I haven't been working toward it so I'm not going to get it back.

With less than 2 years until I'm 40, I wonder how much of my days I will live living inside the body that I don't want. Change is hard. Change is slow but it shouldn't be this slow. The only reason why it's this slow is because I'm choosing it. I've made excuses after excuses. Those excuses aren't helping me. I need real change. I need to be happy with me and not let little things deter me from reaching my goals.

I'm recommitting today. I'm going to do it. I have to. There is no reason that I shouldn't.