Exhausting

Awhile back ago, I went to my combat fitness class. It's one of those classes where the coach seems way more motivated than I do and feels that it's fun to hit people. Perhaps I was over my head when I've decided to take this class. The truth is, I want to make fitness a priority but does fitness have to be this rough?

Anyway, I used the boxing gloves they provided. Part of me thought I was going to die with a million thoughts of unsanitary in my head. Other people wore the gloves before me. Other people's sweat and stench embodied the gloves. I reluctantly put them on because well, maybe it was peer pressure. Everyone in the class was doing it so I should too, right? Unfortunately, there wasn't many people in the class so it's not like I could run and hide from it all. In fact, there was so few people in the class that the coach decided that I would be her partner. After maybe 10 minutes of kicking and punching and blocking, I told her that she's killing me. Her response resonated with me. She said, "No, I'm not killing you. I'm helping you get healthy." Wow! She's right. She IS helping me get healthy. I'm starting to realize that my battle isn't with the exercises I want to do or the exercises I don't want to do. The battle has to do with my emotional self. Loosing weight is more than just strength and exercise. It works with the very foundation of who I am and the choices I'm making. The amount of exercise I do, the food I eat, the activities I chose to participate in...it's all inter-related. I'm not even close to finish with my journey of weight loss but I'm not giving up.