Food Food Food

I started the morning out good by having an english muffin: English Muffin. Click on the link and you'll see that it's not just any English muffin. It's a gluten free one with avocado and almond pepper jack cheese. It was so good! This is coming from a person who used to say that I could never give up dairy cheese. I think that the almond cheese has great consistency and you could hardly tell that it's vegan cheese. I don't think I could go back to regular cheese. Although gluten doesn't give me a really bad stomachache or affects my thyroid, we only have gluten free products at home because there are two people who can't have them here. Even though I don't suffer like they do, I certainly feel better when I don't have gluten. Also, the avocado gives a nice texture to it all. Loved my breakfast!

In other news, I finally watched a documentary called Earthlings. I want to eat more consciously and have that little push to just not talking about how we, as a nation, have over consumed food toward our own detriment and actually start to take personal action. The United States struggles more than other nations in the amount of cancer, obesity, and heart disease. In my head, I know this. In my daily routine, it's hard to make a new change toward that. So, that's why I watched Earthlings. I heard that it would be good and helpful. In addition to that, I read a quote that said something like, "People don't make changes because they focus on what they can't have instead of focusing on what they will have." Isn't that so true. How many times have I said, "I could never give up Korean BBQ, lumpia, cheese pizza"? Some people may say that's all great in moderation but...But what? I'm still fat so I need to make a better change because the moderation argument is just not working for me. Anyway, the Earthlings video was absolutely difficult to watch. It was so difficult to watch that I think I'm ready. Yes, I am ready to make a more natural diet for myself. I'm ready to learn more about cooking and eating better. I'm ready to share different food with friends and family. I am NOT ready to give up all my leather purses though. Hehe. The good thing is that although I'm not yet willing to give up the leather purses I already have, I am ready to stop buying new ones.

Just Another Day

I weighed myself this morning. I'm a few pounds down. I'm still a long way from where I want to be, but I am proud that I'm a tiny (and boy do I mean, "tiny") step toward where I want to be. How do I feel about all this? Well, I feel good that I'm making the changes. There were a few times I went out this week where I could've eaten this or that, but I chose healthier options. I didn't feel like I missed out in the end. I felt satisfied. Isn't that what food is supposed to do? Satisfy our hunger. I'm not living to eat. Yes, there is a lot of delicious, tasty food out there, but when it comes down to it, I'm eating to live. I'm eating so I can have the fuel to enjoy what may come throughout the day. I'm trying to fuel my body with things that make me feel good, not with things that make me sleepy, groggy or tired. Anyway, here's to another day, another day of trying and a step closer to where I want to be.

I Can't Do It

Yes, you read correctly. I can't do it. What makes me think that I can go through the same thing year after year with the same unattainable goal and be successful? Often times, we hear that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. Well, here I am and I'm fully admitting that losing weight is not something I can do on my own. So I'm doing things a little differently this time.

I'm not just over looking a different community of people who are where I want to be, I'm emerging myself in it. If I have a goal, I need to look at people who achieved that goal and learn from them. I'm met a few people lately who I think will be influential with my health goals. One lady, named Lisa, seems to be a source of inspiration right now. One of the things I heard her say was to dream big. Sometimes we can't meet our goals because we are dreaming small or thinking about the current situation. We need to dream big and celebrate each step closer to that dream. So here I am-inspired to dream big and work toward it. This morning, I had my healthy and filling, yet delicious breakfast. If you are curious what that was or how it looked like, click here: BREAKFAST. I also worked out for an hour. It hurt, but I think I did it in a way that I can keep it up. I'm trying to do workouts that aren't just temporary. I'm trying to do things that will be a part of my everyday life. So far, so good.

Choices

I think in the U.S., we are given way more choices or the appearance of choices than we should have. For example, there are two different toothpaste brands right next to each other. They are packaged differently but they have the same exact ingredients. There's not much of a choice because, in essence, you are buying the same thing but the appearance makes it seem like you made a choice. Well, I've found myself with choices this week. After trying my best to choose the right types of food, I went in line and looked at the different "choices" before I checked out. I saw the individual choice of chocolate candy, non-chocolate candy, gum and I realized that it wasn't much of a choice. They were all products with similar ingredients and little nutritional value. So either I choose a product before I checkout or I don't. As I stared at the deliciousness that my pallet would get from that piece of candy, I realized that I just don't want that in my body.

This fight is real. It's the small victory for me to decide that I don't want something at that moment even though it might give me temporary satisfaction. This struggle is something I have to consciously think of until it become natural for me to say that I don't crave it, I don't want it and I just refuse to have it. Regardless, I find comfort in knowing that there are those who have fought this fight and succeeded. I'm not alone in my journey. My journey will be long and won't be finished anytime soon, but for now, I'm celebrating the small victories.

Again

I'm at it again. I've fallen off the wagon. First it started with one small thing, then a couple of small things, and here I am 6 months later and a little heavier. Not just me this time, both my husband and I have gained a little bit of weight. On a brighter note, my kids are fit. They are really fit and I monitor their diets more closely than I do.

Maybe it's because it's me. I'm beginning to realize the value I put on myself is not as highly as I put for those around me and that's a problem. I am valuable. My life is valuable. The hopes and dreams to do more physical things are valuable. The battle I have with my mind to think it's not is absolutely ridiculous. There aren't any good excuses to not be healthy. I am worth it. So again, I type this as a person who has fallen, but I'm not staying down. I'm telling myself that I am valuable enough to work and struggle at getting fit.

Feeling FAT

I've fallen off the eating-right wagon awhile back ago. It must of have been several months ago that I stopped taking a careful eye at what I put in my body. I can describe a plethora of incidents that may have led to it -maybe my uncle's funeral, maybe working a lot, maybe the obnoxious international student who lived with us, maybe...just maybe, it's ONLY me.

Anyway, I read this article the other day and I started thinking about what exactly I missed out on because of me not wanting to show my body. With summer here, it's more apparent of how much I don't want to show or do because of how I look. It all comes down to insecurities. I don't have the body I used to have and I haven't been working toward it so I'm not going to get it back.

With less than 2 years until I'm 40, I wonder how much of my days I will live living inside the body that I don't want. Change is hard. Change is slow but it shouldn't be this slow. The only reason why it's this slow is because I'm choosing it. I've made excuses after excuses. Those excuses aren't helping me. I need real change. I need to be happy with me and not let little things deter me from reaching my goals.

I'm recommitting today. I'm going to do it. I have to. There is no reason that I shouldn't.

Unity

Sometimes in the morning hours, I can hear at a distance the sound of bells ringing from a church close by. I find the noise a bit soothing knowing that there is a group of people who are planning to gather for the same purpose in the same place. I think about how there is strength in that unity. I also think about how that is very much needed in the process of weight loss.

I know I've mentioned before that if you want to reach a goal, surround yourself with others who already reached that goal. Awhile back ago, I began my process in taking a sneak peak at other people's websites that have the mindset of making fitness a priority. I also spent time with the owners of my son's former karate school. Both of them put fitness at such a priority and have a passion to see others live that life. I heard story after story about people losing weight, about poor health issues being cured, about fat turned into muscle and even witness my own husband drop about 40 lbs. There have been times where I've felt that I was riding the wave of good health by taking a good look at what I put on my plate and my families plate. There have been times where I made an effort to work out a little more and there have been times where I felt as if I was watching everyone progress in their health journey from the sidelines.

Whatever the season is, I know that this will be a life time journey. I'm still a work in progress and know that losing weight is not an easy thing, it doesn't only consist of what I put on my plate or how much exercise I put in. A large part of it consist of being in an environment where I can thrive because as I said earlier, there is strength in unity.